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Written by: Bill Colley
Liberals today attempted to block my vote. It’s Primary Day in Delaware and I left work shortly after noon to meet Suzie and cast our ballots for local and state nominations. When we got to the stop light by the school where we vote a construction crew was snarling traffic. The crew was limiting the number of cars and trucks heading for the polls during a busy lunch hour. Coincidence? I think not and I’m going to explain why.
There are two sets of primaries. One for Republicans and the other for Democrats and we live in a very blue state and even if liberals are also blocked from voting the balance of power is maintained. Liberals also control the construction mobs, er, uh, I mean, unions! Now just wait for the liberal response to a tongue-in-cheek paragraph. You’ve got to explain these things for the left.
We did make it and being enlightened conservatives we each voted for one Catholic, one Presbyterian and one Lutheran. Then she left for some business errands and I left to get some lunch but first noticed an indicator was telling me a tire needed air. Wouldn’t have thought it likely but the liberals followed me to the gas station. Half the parking lot was being resurfaced and the main entrance was also blocked. Driving through a thick mat of congestion I finally got around to the front of the pumps near the air island and discovered some fellow with a tiny citrus shaped fuel sipping car was ahead of me. He didn’t have a gauge and kept returning to the same tires over-and-over again. At this point I was nearly ready to offer him a new set of radials if he would just vamoose. I didn’t because of the distraction in my passenger side mirror. Some guy was leaning against the side of my Jeep and writing.
When I asked this man what he was up to he explained he was updating a bumper sticker. Some months ago some very nice people and fans of my radio program made me several hundred bumper stickers. “Who the ‘HELL’ is Bill Colley,” is what’s printed on the surface. It’s a reference to some past controversies. The artist beside my Jeep explained Bill Colley was a pain in the side and used to work for WGMD radio (and still do I might point out). “He’s more to the right than Hitler,” he said or something to that effect. “Is that so?” I answered. “Yes, he is,” the man told me. “And once I told him off when I met him at a remote some years ago.”
Clearly I was intrigued. “What did he say when you told him where to go?”
“He was speechless,” the writer shared with me. “He just sat there stunned.”
Then I noticed the fellow with the fuel sipping car had ballooned his tires and was pulling away. I drove up to the air pump and got out my gauge and measured the pressure in my driver’s side rear tire. A few pounds per square inch later I was finished.
Then I walked around the other side of my Jeep. The guy who claimed he had once met me had written some scrawl on the side of my vehicle. Below my name on the bumper sticker the words read: “Is an ass!”
As luck would have it the artist was sitting behind the wheel of his car a few feet away and reading a newspaper. I approached and asked if he remembered when he met me. When he got over the shock he wasn’t very friendly. He blubbered he must have met someone else and demanded to know whom he met. I’ve no idea and I showed him my driver’s license (including my picture) and told him we’d never ever seen each other before today. Then I added I didn’t appreciate the liberal vandalism. Liberal vandalism possibly is redundant, I suppose? He started blubbering even more. For all I know he’s still in shock behind the wheel and feeling victimized because he never benefited from any government spending to combat stupidity. You folks on the left wonder why those of us on the right don’t believe you couldn’t poor waste water from a boot.
Any positive from this story is the guy with the sloppy penmanship probably didn’t vote. As frightened as he appeared during our conversation I can’t fathom him crossing some construction workers. He may have scored a point defacing my property and initially crowed about it but Suzie and I voted.
Conservatives 2, liberals 1.
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